Trash Talk (Literally): McGuffey Edition (Now With Extra Confusion!)

Hello, readers, and welcome to Part 2 of the Trash Talk saga, where we do our (apparently unwanted) civic duty—with a touch of chaos! (Okay, maybe it’s the chaos part that’s the problem.)

This short series is all about literal trash and how McGuffey and Alger handle their yearly clean-ups!

To recap, I reached out to both Alger and McGuffey to see what kind of plans they had for their village clean-up efforts. Alger responded with almost suspicious speed—so suspicious that I’m half-convinced they’ve got a shadow government of clipboard-wielding hamsters running the show in some underground lair.

Meanwhile, reaching McGuffey was about as successful as yelling into the void—lots of effort, no response.

Fear not! Even if McGuffey stuck to their guns after my olive branch to write what I was really hoping would be a positive write-up like Alger’s, we still have their publicly live-streamed meetings.

(Even though said meeting had less of a professional government vibe and more of a “buddies tossing back a few drinks at the local bar while spitballing ideas” kind of energy.)

So, for those who missed the meeting (though I highly encourage you to watch it—there were actually a few positive takeaways, like getting a village administrator and what looks like a charitable donation!), I think it’s safe to say McGuffey doesn’t exactly run like the well-oiled machine of Alger when it comes to spring clean-up plans…

But hey—at least they remembered to talk about it!

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So… What’s Actually Happening?

Okay, dear readers, let’s break down McGuffey’s thrilling, edge-of-your-seat clean-up plan—or, perhaps more accurately, their plan to make a plan.

Because let me tell you—after sitting through that council meeting, I can truly say it was an experience.

Here’s what I think happened (and trust me, the “think” part is doing a lot of heavy lifting here because things got a little confusing at times):

📅 Date & Time: TBD (but don’t worry, they’re aiming for sometime before the world ends). 

🚛 Dumpsters: They plan to bring them in… assuming they remember to call the guy.

 ⚠ Citations: Well… here’s where things get interesting.

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Citations: Big Talk or Big Action?

According to the council, junk ordinances will finally be enforced this year.

No more warnings. No more empty threats.

Or… so they say.

At one point, the Mayor asked how many citations had actually been issued, and… well, things got a little awkward.

Here’s the direct exchange from the meeting (timestamps included), so you can see for yourself—just in case I somehow misheard them:

Mayor (26:14): "Well, how many citations have you issued?" 

Council Member (26:18): "Well, we've gotten quite a few of them out." 

Mayor (26:22): "I didn't ask that. How many have you actually issued?"

 Council Member (26:30): "None. Me, personally."

 Council Member (26:32, enthusiastically): "I mean, you want me to? I'll citate this whole damn town. It don't bother me none."

Ah, yes.

The energy! The confidence! The sheer, unwavering determination!

But… somehow, this whole exchange had the same energy as someone realizing mid-sentence that they have no actual plan.

A lot of big talk, a few long pauses, and just enough awkwardness to make you wonder if anyone actually expected to be asked that question.

And of course—the moment of the night.

When pressed about how many citations had actually been issued, the council member, rather than admitting that things had been, well… a little lax, decided to go full action-hero mode with this absolute gem:

"I mean, you want me to? I'll citate this whole damn town. It don't bother me none."

Oh. Oh my.

Sir, this is a village council meeting, not an action movie.

Was it a serious declaration? A spur-of-the-moment burst of enthusiasm? Or just someone realizing out loud that maybe things haven’t exactly been enforced? Hard to say.

But it was certainly a moment.

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Will It Happen? Or Is This Just Another Round of Tough Talk?

Will McGuffey finally crack down and enforce their junk ordinance? Or was this just another round of bold declarations, shifting glances, and absolutely no follow-through?

Well—to be fair—for a little while, they actually did enforce it.

They even managed to clean up the empty lot on West Railroad Street, stopping it from looking like a car graveyard.

But after that? Well… let’s just say the momentum fizzled out faster than a New Year's resolution.

And now? The cars are starting to creep back in, like they’re reclaiming lost territory.

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Final Thoughts: Will It Happen?

✔ McGuffey wants to enforce the junk ordinance… and this time, they really mean it.

 ✔ Spring clean-up is coming… eventually. 

✔ One council member is ready to "citate the whole damn town"—but, well… no one’s actually done it yet.

So, will this actually happen? Or will we be back here next year hearing the same discussion all over again?

Stay tuned, dear readers. The saga continues.

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🌟 Community Spotlight 🌟 As promised, here’s this week’s featured comment from the post:“You’ve been granted unlimited citation power for ONE day in your town. Drop what’s getting hit with a citation below. Funniest/fiercest answer gets a special shoutout in the blog.”

“I’d give a citation to McGuffey for not providing these kids with an adequate park to play at.” – Mike Mike Risner

And what a worthy citation it is! We’ll go ahead and file that under Violation 402-B: “Failure to Provide Swings, Slides, or Literally Anything Resembling Fun.”

To be fair, there is a park—but after two years of “improvements,” it’s starting to feel more like a concept than a destination. At this point, the grass has seen more action than the equipment.

Thanks for the comment, Mike—here’s hoping the park gets finished before the kids outgrow it... or overthrow the village.

Want to be featured next time? Keep an eye out for the weekly prompt—each one ties into the latest blog post. Comment under the original post (not a share!), and you just might end up in the spotlight... for better or worse

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Disclaimer:

As always, this blog comes with a disclaimer—because, as we all know, if a page has a disclaimer, it must be fake. That’s just how the internet works, right?

That being said, this post is based on publicly available information, direct responses from officials, and my own research and interpretation. Any opinions expressed are mine alone.

And for anyone offended, confused, or dramatically clutching their pearls—just a friendly reminder: the only way you’re reading this is if you actively came looking for it. This page isn’t on Google, it’s not plastered on billboards, and it certainly didn’t sneak into your house and force itself onto your screen.

So if you made it all the way here and don’t like what you read… well, that’s kind of on you, isn’t it?